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|  well i haven't been in this website for a while I think i should keep adding stuff to it at least it helps me release what i feel and think maybe no one read this anyways which is good cuz that at least i know i can write whatever i want and take my feelings out by writing stuff that are happening in my life anyways who is going to care about them other than me!!!
Well to start off I feel lost I have legal problems as off now. I feel my life is full of problems I will never taste what is to be happy, in peace, and in love anymore...I stilll care for the guy that i fall in love with and that i was happy with I know he was happy with me too until certain point. He was the one that let me go do!! I love him and I always will. There is no day that i think about him and that I remember about us and all the things that we went throught, also times that he had made me laught and all the times that I loved to be next to him, I loved to c him every day, every time, every second and when I think this; I wish he could know all this that I always loved to be next to him and see him next to me....yeah we argued sometimes or maybe alot but our relationship was wonderful  we never broke up until last year.......that happened unexpectedly to me. I still love him I really do and I wish he could know this I wish he can know that my life it was his and that my heart is still his. All i have now is memories cuz I think my heart and my mind will never be able to feel the same as it was. I wish I will be dreaming now, I wish as of now all this is just as a nightmare. All I do now is work and survive and live of memories. I know is not good to live off memories but the more i go throught stuff is the more the memories keep me going cuz i still have hope. My life has change alot it got upside down I think I will never love no one the way I love him !! I do love u and i wish i could do anything just to have u back and be happy together but i guess i am just dreaming!! I wish I could have one more chance to be happy and for us to be together like before but this time without arguments and dumb things!
I love u and like I always promise u that I will, I promise u that I | | |
|  Omg..i can't believe i haven't updated my xanga been so busy and now working in 2 jobs...life is hard but getting better thank god .. and my family and close friends for helding me up in every single way. i been party alot with people of from the old group is crazy and at the sametime awesome..now i am 22 my B-day was hell of fun w/ my homegirls and my family and than my homegirls again in another words i partied all damn day even do i worked that they..well getting exited hehe now well nigth night!!! | | |
|  well i just find out some stuff i don't really know if is true or not but i don't give a damn i am doing my best and no one ...YEA NO ONE CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME SO EVERYONE HEAR ME RIGHT I WILL TRY THE IMPOSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY WHATEVER IT TAKES SO HEAR ME NOW AND CLEAR WHO EVER SAYING THINGS ABOUT ME I DON'T GIVE A DAMN CUZ ANYONE IS NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE SO JUST TRY TO BE IN PEACE AND HAPPY AND LIVE ME OUT OF OF IT CUZ I REALLY DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS ABOUT ME....I STOP CARING WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY ABOUT ME ..cuz i don't really care how everyone arround me is i am trying to be happy and i will sooner or later but i will...and who ever don't liked good luck but i will keep trying i don't care if people say i ma crazy or not or that i have issues or mental problems, uz think about it and everyone does @ some point.....I JUST WISH ALL OF U TO BE HAPPY AND TO ENJOY WHAT WE HAVE IN LIFE...CUZ WE CAN IMPROVE IF WE REALLY FIGHT FOR IT AND IF WE DON'T @ LEAST WE TRIED....AM i NOT RIGHT...WELL PEAE AND WOORY ABOUT UR SELF AND STOP LOOKING @ SOMEBODY ELSES MESS.....WELL GOD BLESS U ALL mERRY CHISTMAS AND A PROPEROUS NEW YEAR!!!! and if u believe in something else than follow ur believes but everything u all do if is 4someones good than i hope u get heared but if is to harm somebody than i hope u realize what the consecuences r...well takecare and i am going to bounce out!!! | | |
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Well I don't know nothing anymore sometimes when I am driving or just thinking anywhere I ask god to take me with him....don't get confuse I am not saying I want to kill myself, ok!!! so anyways I aski him that and I tell him sometimes is ok if I don't deserve to b in heaven than to send me to hell I wouldn't c much difference I believe!!! 'cuz been rigth now in earth is like been in hell and probably hell might be better than earth or it can be worser..I know is wrong what I am thinking about, but I just don't see way out instead I c more things getting in my way......I want to have a bf too and b happy, but my brick wall is just not letting it happening.......who is going to want a girl that has lots of things going on???
maybe someone but don't really want too do it either not untilk I feel that I b alright....is so many things that happen and the only thing that makes me take things stop going throwght my mind is going to the club and dance btu once I know club is over all comes back to place it really sux the feeling is horrible... I really wish that no one goes throught this, I have learn lots of things and the most important is that I am by myself I have friends, but they really don't care about me which is kool cuz I have always known how things r...but whatever happends happends I just hope everything gets to an end soon..cuz I don't know how much more I can handle, but oh well I have to go pick up my cousin so............. buggie buggie booo I am gone!!!!!